June 9--posted by Regina
I’ve spent a fair amount of time in third-world countries over the past number of years, and yet my heart is breaking anew tonight as if it were the first visit. Last week there was Hortencia, the feverish young mom writhing in pain for days on a grass mat covering the dirt floor of her hut. At least we were able to get her to a hospital, but diagnosis was unclear—something involving her ribs and spinal column.
Yesterday several of us made our weekly visit to the TB ward of a local hospital. It’s a safe bet that almost all of the residents here have AIDS. Because of weakened immune systems, they usually succumb to tuberculosis or pneumonia. The facility had a “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” feel to it—quite clean, but appearing to be a few decades behind modern medical science.
A staff person announced our arrival, and a dozen women shuffled out of rooms-for-four in slow motion. The majority are walking skeletons with impossibly long, thin limbs. They settled into chairs around small tables while the worker served up tea. Through an interpreter we shared words meant to uplift and encourage. We prayed with them for healing, for comfort, and to know that One who passionately loves them waits at the end of the journey with open arms.
My friend Regina (a common Portuguese name) slipped back to her bed early, feeling worse than usual. I stood by her bed praying, crying, gently stroking her back as the frail feverish body convulsed again and again with coughing, then spitting into a cup. Do these women realize they are dying? How is it that the one Regina is blessed with abundant opportunities and resources, while the other seems so doomed?
This morning several of us accompanied Luis, a young Mozambican staff member of the All Nations baby houses, on a home visit to a very poor village. The mother is HIV positive and is interested in giving up her two-and-a-half month old baby, Antonio. After leaving the road, we walk on footpaths for 15 minutes before arriving at a simple reed shack that is home to eight people.
Mom is 16 years old and seems amazingly detached, considering it may be the last day she sees her son. Grandma is holding a blanketed bundle, and consents to let me have a turn. I can only weep when I look inside. Two alert eyes look up at me out of an emaciated little body, as tiny as my premature son at birth. He can’t possibly weigh over several pounds. Antonio’s arms

and legs dangle limply, and his head is covered with a nasty cradle cap infection. Grandpa is concerned about child trafficking, and so Mom and a cousin bring the baby with to visit the baby house and see for themselves how the children are cared for. Pieter and Rika offer to care for the child only until he is healthy, or to keep him long-term, never cutting contact with the family. The final say rests with Mom.
It feels like there are missing pieces to this story, but in the end Mom bends to pressure from her father and nonchalantly decides to keep the baby. Her lack of responses and her strange detachment make us wonder if she is mentally delayed. The village footpaths are lined with ditches filled with standing water, perfect breeding grounds for mosquitoes. If AIDS or starvation don’t claim little Antonio, then surely malaria will. Outside of a miracle, I can’t believe this child will survive without intervention. And yet I’m told that the Mozambican government cannot take him without Mom’s consent…
I am broken, I am undone by the suffering I see. Where is the God of Elijah? I want to see miracles! It’s hard to feel so powerless. I’m doing a lot of crying these days. That seems to be about all I can do.
But maybe that’s the point—perhaps love is the greatest gift I could give, trite as that sounds. Maybe my tears can somehow begin to convey the heart of Jesus, broken for his Mozambican children. Maybe that’s the starting point from which all other ministry flows. It’s not always about victory—but it IS always about love.
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…” (James 1:27).
(POSTSCRIPT: good news! Little Antonio's mom changed her mind, and he is now the newest, tiniest resident here, bathed and wrapped in clean clothes and much love.)